Percy turned up early one morning on the scrounge for some fertiliser for his lawn, “Yes no problem I said, take this 12.6.6. feed, there is enough for two applications, one now and one in 6 weeks”. “Thanks son” he said and off he went. The next week Percy turned up looking his best, with his traditional grey sweat shirt on, with egg sauce, tea stains, etc down his front, he was shouting his head off. “That bloody shit you gave me has killed my lawn”. I went to look at it for him,”you idiot” I said, he had put all the fertiliser on in one go. He thought it would thicken the lawn quicker, now you would see more grass on a badger’s arse than he had on his lawn. I ended up having to renovate all the lawn for him. He turned up the next day at the Stadium with this big grin on his face. “Here son” and gave me a bloody great bundle of peacock quill and Benny Ashurst stick float blanks. “Thanks son I really messed up this time” he said.